CLICK HERE FOR AN URGENT UPDATE FROM ZTEVEN!!!
FAIR FUN CLEAN NICE
Friends, allow me to introduce myself. I would like to be your next Secretary. Have you near about had it with the he-said, she-said fast talkers who seem to never get done what they said they would? Well, me too. I think it is time we leave the politics out of this and just roll up our sleeves and get to work. Let me be your Secretary and let's see what it is going to take in getting us back on track.
Friends, if you are like me, you may be asking yourself "Why would someone be running for the office of Secretary and not the more important offices of President, Vice-President, Treasurer or Chaplain in this important election year?" Let me take this opportunity to assure you that while my vision for a better lit tomorrow is impassioned, the time I have to devote to this vision is considerably less. I value honesty above many things and let me tell you now in all honesty, I feel almost nearly 100% certain that as a Secretary I can adequately represent you -- and together we can elbow our way into an easier tomorrow, all the while shaking hands together.
-- I believe Facebook is just about to drive us all slam crazy. As your secretary, I vow to fight tooth and nail to bring our community back to a simpler, more Friendster-like environment.
-- I believe toner cartridges are highway robbery and will try to devote a little time each day to looking for the best deals and pass along that information to the community at large. I'm thinking along the lines of a newsletter.
-- I believe that schools which do not teach cursive should be shut down after three failing unannounced drop-ins by myself or the secret people I'm working with.
-- I believe that our bread and butter is down to tourism and thusly will insist upon many sequels to "Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil". Look for "Escape From Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil", "Beneath Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil", "Conquest At Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil", and "Battle At Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil". SCAD is right down the road with cameras and actors and lights and there is no reason we can't be churning these movies out and hauling tourists around those squares quicker and in greater volume.
-- I believe in four-way stops and the order and sanity which they can bring to a civilized world.
-- I believe that traffic lights crossing either side of DeRenne should be timed somewhat beneath the current 45 minute time signature.
-- I believe the ghost situation is going to get out of hand within the next 10 years if they keep messing with it like they are doing downtown. I equate this to feeding racoons: it is cute at first but then one day you turn around and your life is hell. I promise to Google this and come up with a plan within my first 40 days of office.
-- I believe that nightmarish bridge that some crazy person put up over there going out of town should to be taken down and re-built as a normal real bridge so we all can quit almost having a heart attack when we have to ride over it. Enough is enough.
-- I believe the city is know for its big trees and I think putting those little white lights in all of them would really bump them up to the next level.
-- As your Secretary I promise to support both The Arts AND the crafts in our community.
-- I believe drive-thru's should not irritate and confuse us by asking us if we would like to try such-and-such before we even get the window half-way rolled down. I would like to see our city known internationally as a city free from unsolicited drive-thru suggestions.
-- I believe the Adam West Batman TV series should be available on DVD and I vow by any means possible to get every single living soul in this city's name on a petition which I will deliver to the DVD people myself in a very firm and formal fashion.
-- I believe in jobs and roads, safety, this that and the other, etc., people getting along, etc. etc. no drugs, old folks, diversity to a certain extent, and whatnot.
The term "secretary" has been stigmatized in recent years and I want to go on record, here and now, that I plan to put the R.E.S.P.E.C.T. back into SECRETARY. YES I will glady serve the coffee for whomever wants a cup at the meetings that I happen to attend, and I won't have a problem with that. But let it be known that I will also be going totally ERGONOMIC, high-end designer desks and using Cross pens on all professional and private endeavors for the duration of my term.. By setting this example, I hope to clear the path or pave the road for future secretaries to drive up and down and feel confident, modern and upbeat.
Jr. High School
Hard worker, team player, thinks outside of the box.
Friends, by clicking the button above and donating the absolute very most you can without running into problems toward the end of the month, we will be one step closer to trying to get some yard signs and maybe some tshirts made up. At the very least some snacks. Do you know more people voted for the last American Idol than voted in the last election? I am pretty sure those votes cost 99 cents a pop and nobody seemed too concerned about that. My point is, no dollar is too small. Let's put this Cadillac on the road to victory, both literally and figuratively.